Category: Articles

  • Friday Favourites: 10 films that deserved a sequel

    In these days of franchises dominating the box-office and films coming with sequel-friendly endings as standard, it’s interesting to look back at some that could or should have had follow-ups but, for whatever reason, didn’t.  Sequels can be a good thing (no, seriously): they can provide an encore for popular characters, deepen or embellish the world from the original, or offer an opportunity to fix things that didn’t work first time around. Sometimes we’re left wanting more, and though we know in our heart of hearts a sequel is as likely to disappoint as not, that doesn’t stop us dreaming. So here are a few of my dream choices for the sequel treatment:

    1. Flash Gordon (1980)

    Flash Gordon poster

    “The End?” The final scene’s tease in Mike Hodges’ adaptation of the classic comic strip promised a sequel that tragically never materialised. Yes, it’s as camp as hell, but who wouldn’t want to see a follow-up with more dodgy acting, crazy set designs and a rocking Queen soundtrack? Just think: more Brian Blessed as Prince Vultan! Could the world have survived it?

    2. Young Sherlock Holmes (1985)

    Of all the films produced by Steven Spielberg geared towards younger audiences, this is perhaps the most overlooked. The Goonies has the biggest online clamouring for a sequel, but this introduction to the master detective was an enjoyable (if rather unfaithful) adventure mixing Conan Doyle’s familiar ingredients with a strong dash of Spielbergian fantasy,  a decent cast and a killer closing shot. A follow-up would likely have disappointed, but been welcome nonetheless.

    3. The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959)

    Another Sherlock Holmes adventure, this time with a man born to play the lead role: Peter Cushing. This was Hammer’s attempt to continue their run of successful literary horror adaptations following The Curse of Frankenstein (1957) and Dracula (1958), and retained the core team of Cushing, Christopher Lee and director Terence Fisher. It’s a gorgeously gothic take on the classic novel, and Cushing’s performance was terrific. Alas, no official follow-ups were made, despite the abundance of source material – though Cushing did get to reprise the character in a 1960s BBC TV series.

    4. Galaxy Quest (1999)

    Galaxy Quest poster

    This pitch-perfect satire of the Star Trek phenomenon was enjoyed by both fans and non-fans alike. The strong cast (Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Alan Rickman) and clever story (about the has-been cast of a once-popular sci-fi TV show being forced to live through an episode for real) made it an ideal choice for sequelising (is that a word?). Unfortunately it didn’t sell as many tickets at the box-office as it should, and any thoughts of a Part Two were placed in hypersleep.

    5. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

    The curse of sci-fi comedy struck again with this adaptation of Douglas Adams’ ever popular series. With four published sequels from the author (and a fifth completed by Eoin Colfer), all the first film had to do was capture the audience’s imagination; the sequels would practically make themselves. The only problem: the film failed to find an audience in America. The Guide was quietly shelved.

    6. Unbreakable (2000)

    M. Night Shyamalan’s follow-up to The Sixth Sense was a slightly eccentric spin on the superhero genre, and arguably a few years ahead of its time. As the film ends the stage is set for an epic showdown between the hero (Bruce Willis) and the villain (Samuel L. Jackson).  Probably one of those films that’s best left as a one-off, but the mind still lingers on what might have happened next.

    7. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

    Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon posterUnusually, Ang Lee’s arthouse blockbuster is already a sequel: an adaptation of the fourth book in a five-book series.  It took over $100m in the US alone and further adaptations of the series were promised, but never came to pass. A shame, as its epic mixture of mythical action and doomed romance would almost certainly have justified a second visit.

    8. The Untouchables (1987)

    There’s little suggestion of further stories to be told at the end of Brian De Palma’s take on the Al Capone story, but after the edge-of-the-seat climax I was actually rather keen to see where Eliot Ness (Kevin Costner) and the other surviving Untouchable, George Stone (Andy Garcia), went next.  Who knows? They might have assembled a new team and taken on other crime syndicates… *enters the land of imagination* *forgets to finish article* (the same applies to Curtis Hanson’s L.A. Confidential (1997) with Russell Crowe and Guy Pearce)

    9. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)

    Master and Commander poster

    From a personal perspective, it’s simply criminal that a sequel to Peter Weir’s adaptation of Patrick O’Brien’s seafaring saga was never greenlit. Unquestionably the finest dramatisation of naval warfare during the Napoleonic Wars (a rather narrow genre, I grant you), the excitement, monotony and sheer terror of life aboard ship was superbly brought to life. Russell Crowe as Jack Aubrey and Paul Bettany as Stephen Maturin made a fantastic pairing. With at least another 18 novels left to adapt (this film merged two entries), and Crowe publicly stating his desire to reprise the role of Aubrey, one can only wistfully hope there is still time to pull a follow-up together.

    10. The Italian Job (1969)

    And finally, how can I not mention the film that will forever be engrained on the British public consciousness? THAT ending, as Michael Caine proclaims to have an idea as to how to retrieve his team’s stolen loot from the bus balancing on the edge of a cliff in the Alps, has come to define this country’s irresistible urge to support the underdog, the loveable rogue, the cheeky chappie – even if he is a common thief. We desperately want him to succeed, but we’ll never know if he did.  It’s a terrific ending; a sequel showing what happened next would simply have robbed the film of a major part of its charm. Still, it did deserve a sequel, right?

  • Friday Favourites: 5 Dodgy Taglines

    I do love a good film poster. It seems to be something of a dying art, sadly; so many these days are just Photoshopped headshots of the cast looking serious/pensive/awestruck. They remind me of Joey’s acting class from Friends: in order to act like you’ve received some bad news, he tells his students, just try and divide 232 by 13 (cue prolonged quizzical expression). Where’s the excitement? Where’s the passion? Where’s the beautiful, swooning, scantily-clad woman being carried away by the monstrous creation?

    Anyway, one of the best things about a poster is the tagline: a line of text that promises anything and everything in order to seduce us in to seeing whatever they are trying to sell. Some are memorable for good reasons (sci-fi and horror flicks tend to attract particularly enjoyable examples), others… not so much. Here are five slightly suspect attempts to sell a film:

    Whoever wins... we lose.5. Whoever Wins… We Lose.

    Film: Alien vs Predator (2004) 

    Well, at least it was accurate – audiences were the ones who lost out if they handed over their hard-earned cash to see this disappointing intergalactic battle. Proof that honesty is not always the best policy.

     

    Amazing!4. Amazing!

    Film: Forbidden Planet (1956)

    To be honest, I’m rather fond of this one. Back in the 1950s it seems a single simple word was sufficient to dazzle punters (although there are plenty of examples of more hysterical efforts). Still, even by the standards of the time it’s a pretty lame effort to sell one of the best sci-fi films of its era. It’s got Robbie the Robot, for goodness’ sake!

     

    Earth - Take a good look. It may be your last.3. EARTH – Take a good look. It could be your last.

    Film: Independence Day (1996)

    You can’t deny this didn’t work – it roped every man, woman and child in to cinemas in the summer of 1996. A bit later on we wondered what all the fuss was about. And then later still we realised it was all a big joke. One wonders if some advertising exec slipped this tagline in to a meeting for a laugh just to see if anyone bit. Of course, they did.

     

    Collide with Destiny.2. Collide With Destiny.

    Film: Titanic (1997) 

    All in the best possible taste! Or not. Trivialising an infamous cruise ship disaster which cost hundreds of people their lives by carelessly throwing the word Collide around – could you be any less tasteful? Oh, wait – how about re-releasing the film in 3D to profit from commemorate the 100th anniversary of the sinking?

     

    This Time It's Personal.1. This Time It’s Personal.

    Film: Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

    Nothing can beat the third Jaws sequel for sheer outright silliness. Leaving aside the absurdity of the plot (just how does a shark make things personal…?) and the cheap production values, if that’s possible, this tagline must have had people laughing all the way to the fleapit box office in 1987. Still, it delivered exactly what it promised – even if nobody wanted it.

  • Friday Favourites: 10 movies to watch while ironing

    Iron
    Does this object fill you with fear?

    Let’s be honest: nobody enjoys ironing. There’s usually something far more important to do than moving a hot slab of metal over a pile of dry clothes that have been gathering dust in the spare room for longer than you’d care to admit. Like descaling the kettle, for example.

    But fear not – cinema rides to the rescue! Why not put this tedious task to good use by watching a film at the same time? Ironing demands a certain amount of attention (you don’t want to risk ruining your other half’s favourite top) but you can usually spare enough brain power to keep up with a movie that requires very little mental capacity to enjoy.

    There is an art to choosing a good film to iron to (stay with me). It should be light, undemanding, familiar – being predictable is a good thing (no taxing plots or deep philosophising). It should not involve subtitles (you’ll be looking down at the ironing board for much of the time), and should be fun enough to keep you going through 90 minutes of hot steamy pressing (er… yes). Basically, anything that gets shown on ITV. And hopefully there will be a bit left over for you to enjoy with your feet up once the hard work’s out of the way. So here’s my ten suggested films to iron to:

    1. You’ve Got Mail (1998)

    Ok, so this Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan vehicle isn’t a patch on their earlier Sleepless in Seattle collaboration, but it gets by on the charm of its two leads – which makes it ideal fodder for ironing.  Revel in the light romantic banter while you try to get the creases out of that shirt.

    2. The Scorpion King (2002)

    This disposable spin-off from Universal’s Mummy franchise is a simplistic fantasy adventure romp starring Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. Forget the plot – the writers certainly did – and instead enjoy the well-staged action and Johnson’s rippling torso.

    Captain Kirk staring3. Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)

    In the mood for something a touch more futuristic? Look no further than this bank holiday favourite, which has endless scenes of people standing around staring at spectacular alien vistas – making it perfect for the humble ironer to keep up with.

    4. The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

    To be honest, any pre-90s Bond movie would suffice. But Roger Moore’s light-hearted stint as the super spy makes him ideal company for the ironer. So I suggest this, the definitive Moore entry; it’s got all the action and raised eyebrows you could possibly want. Alternatively, if you’re worried it’s too much fun to waste on ironing, go with the dodgy Moonraker, which might actually improve if you’re only watching it with one eye.

    5. The Princess Bride (1987)

    This irreverent, amusing, romantic fairy tale pastiche is cinema’s equivalent of the little black dress – perfect for any occasion. You know how it goes, even if you’ve never seen it before. So stick it on; you can always blame the heat of the iron if you find you need to dab your eyes at the end.

    Flash Gordon6. Flash Gordon (1980)

    For joyously silly comic book nonsense, nothing can come close to Mike Hodges’ 1980 adaptation of the sci-fi hero. Plenty here for the ironer to enjoy: colourful sets, a rocking Queen soundtrack and one of the most eclectic casts ever to grace a film set. Brian Blessed alone makes this essential ironing viewing.

    7. Superman II (1980)

    More comic book shenanigans, this time with Christopher Reeve as the Man of Steel. The first film is better but is deserving of your full attention, so instead go with this less essential sequel, which is campier and has Terence Stamp doing his villainous thing. All together now: “Kneel before Zod!”

    8. The Magnificent Seven (1960)

    Another bank holiday favourite, this is easy to follow (cowboy in black recruits other cowboys one by one to help defend village against evil bandits), has a brilliant cast (Brynner, McQueen, Bronson, Coburn, et al) and can boast a theme you’ll be whistling for days afterwards. Possibly too good for ironing duties, but you’ve seen it before, right?

    Ben-Hur9. Ben-Hur (1959)

    When there’s so much ironing you’ve literally resorted to wearing plastic bin bags because everything else is in the wash, this is the film to put on. A gargantuan running time, classic set-pieces (the chariot race of course, plus that terrific sea battle) and a truly epic production allow plenty of opportunity for you to try and fix those tricky trouser creases.

    10. A Shot in the Dark (1964)

    Finally a dose of Inspector Clouseau to keep your spirits up if the ironing is getting you down. Any Pink Panther film should do the trick (so long as it stars Peter Sellers), but this one is probably the best of the lot. It also has the distinct advantage of containing that memorable nudist camp sequence. “Give me ten men like Clouseau and I could destroy the world…”

  • Friday Favourites: Ten Classic Thrillers

    Jaws posterThe start of an occasional series: a list of my favourite films, scenes, actors or whatever else might take my fancy. To kick off, here’s a list of ten of my favourite thrillers, in no particular order. I originally published this a few years ago and was surprised to find that it still works for me today. The only tweak I made is the choice of Bond film (the one listed below replaces You Only Live Twice, my original selection). The Thriller as a genre is wide open to interpretation of course: there are plenty of others I could add, but hey – you have to start somewhere, right?

     

    1. The Third Man (1949)

    Orson Welles is unforgettable in this truly excellent noir thriller set in a murky post-war Vienna. Harry Lime (Welles) has died in a car crash; old friend Holly Martins (Joseph Cotten) arrives in the city to investigate and uncovers more than he bargained for. Superb photography, script and score; probably the greatest British film ever made.

    2. Die Hard (1988)

    An ingenious premise: Bruce Willis stranded in a skyscraper taken over by terrorists. By keeping the story confined to a single location, director John McTiernan lets the tension (and action) build as cop John McClane (Willis) and his German nemesis Hans Gruber (the brilliant Alan Rickman) try to outwit each other.

    3. The 39 Steps (1935)

    Arguably Alfred Hitchcock’s finest British film, this is a glorious chase movie. The innocent Richard Hannay (dapper Robert Donat) is forced to go on the run after being framed for the murder of a secret agent. The corkscrew plot, atmospheric Scottish locations and delicious chemistry between the two leads once Hannay gets handcuffed to a reluctant accomplice (Madeleine Carroll) make this a solid-gold classic.

    4. North By Northwest (1959)

    Another Hitchcock classic, and every bit as good as The 39 Steps. Cary Grant is the innocent man on the run this time, mistaken for an assassin at the United Nations. The epic chase that follows, as he flees across the Unites States trying to keep one step ahead of the mysterious criminal organisation led by James Mason, is memorable set-piece after memorable set-piece.

    5. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

    Steven Spielberg’s recreation of vintage 1930s Saturday morning adventure serials is a fantastic ripping yarn in its own right. This old-fashioned escapism has been imitated many times over the years but has still to be bettered. After starring as the adventuring archaeologist Indiana Jones here, it became Harrison Ford’s signature role.

    6. From Russia With Love (1963)

    Everyone has their favourite James Bond film, and this list wouldn’t be complete without one. My personal fave is the second of Sean Connery’s outings, when the heady mixture of action, intrigue, fiendish plots, and exotic locales and ladies was still fresh – before the series moved in to more outlandish pastures.

    7. Where Eagles Dare (1968)

    This fantastic WW2 men-on-a-mission tale (written by Alistair Maclean) has all the ingredients for a classic wartime thriller. A team of paratroopers, led by Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood, is sent into Austria to recover a captured General. Double and triple crosses galore, plus Clint wiping out half the German army with his machine gun – what’s not to like? Brilliant soundtrack from Ron Goodwin too.

    8. L.A. Confidential (1997)

    Thoroughly engrossing noir tale set in the seedy underbelly of 1950s Los Angeles, complete with femmes fatales and corrupt cops. The dense plot winds up with a thrilling shootout between bad guys and unlikely allies Bud (Russell Crowe) and Ed (Guy Pearce). One of the best films from the 1990s.

    9. Jaws (1975)

    Before Indy, Spielberg had already redefined popular cinema with this blockbuster yarn about a rogue white shark menacing the small town of Amity Island. The chair-gripping opening sequence is unforgettable, but it really kicks into gear once we’re shark-hunting on the high seas with the 3 Rs (Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw and Richard Dreyfuss).

    10. The Terminator (1984)

    Straying slightly into sci-fi territory here, but James Cameron’s tale of the relentless cyborg from the future tracking down the woman who will give birth to the future saviour of mankind is one of the great action thrillers. Schwarzenegger’s powerful presence and minimal acting ability is put to fantastic use, while director Cameron piles on the suspense.