My review of the fairly enjoyable Ewan McGregor/Emily Blunt romantic comedy drama currently in cinemas is now up at The Digital Fix:
Author: Cinemasitter
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Waiting for Prometheus

TOO. MUCH. INFORMATION. So, Prometheus then. I know I’m not the only person eagerly anticipating Sir Ridley Scott’s latest project. As we all know by now, it’s set within the Alien universe before the events of his classic sci-fi horror, though to what extent it serves as a direct prequel remains to be seen. It’s in 3D (which saddens me a little). It stars Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba and Guy Pearce. Fassbender’s character is an android. And it has something to do with the origins of the mysterious ‘Space Jockey’ corpse briefly seen in the first film.
That’s about as much as I know, and I’m desperately trying to keep it that way. Occasionally a film comes along that you really, REALLY don’t want spoiled for you. That you want to unfold afresh before your eyes, letting the story take you to its conclusion with no knowledge of the journey to come. To allow the surprises to catch you unawares. In short: to really, truly, honestly experience it.
It’s a tricky thing in the age of the internet though. Scripts are reviewed online before they are even greenlit. Spoilers abound everywhere. Images are sneaked and spread through social media. Trailers are available across hundreds, if not thousands of websites. Even the trailers themselves now have trailers.
To ignore all of this about a film you are desperate to see requires a significant amount of willpower. In fact, it requires you to embark on some sort of hermit mission by inhabiting a kind of digital cave, only occasionally venturing out to see what’s new in the weird and wonderful land of civilization. Needless to say, I haven’t been completely successful. New images from the film crop up on sites like Facebook unbidden and I am forced to click hastily away, mentally renewing my sworn oath of spoiler chastity.
Mercifully, the release date for Prometheus is slowly ticking round and within a matter of weeks I will be privy at last to its mythical contents. Until then, please don’t tell me anything about the film, otherwise I might be forced to kill you, and then eat you. Just in case, you understand.
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Take One: The Devil’s Business – interview with Sean Hogan
Here’s an interview I did with director Sean Hogan for Take One, about his impressive new low-budget British horror film The Devil’s Business:
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Review: The Cabin in the Woods (2011)
On the surface, the latest genre flick from writer-producer Joss Whedon (a busy man this month, what with this and superhero blockbuster The Avengers almost upon us) and writer-director Drew Goddard (Cloverfield) sounds like your common or garden horror set in some remote American woodlands – a blatant Evil Dead rip-off. Five students head off to a remote holiday cabin for a break, not realising the supernatural horrors that await them… yawn.But The Cabin in the Woods is so much more. Without wanting to demean it, it is clearly the new Scream.
If you recall, in the mid-1990s the whole slasher movie genre typified by endless sequels to Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th had not only played itself out, it had dug its own grave and carved the headstone. Then suddenly Scream arrived: a post-modern horror that mocked the films it seemingly imitated while reinventing and rejuvenating the genre for a new generation. Director Wes Craven happily subverted the very films he had founded his career on.
Cabin pulls very much the same trick, but on a much grander scale. It’s a deconstruction, satire and celebration of just about every horror cliché in the book. Just like Scream, it’s funny, it’s scary, it’s quite bloody, and it completely messes with your expectations. It’s a real treat, especially if you know your horror films.
To say any more would spoil the surprises in store – this is a film where you really should avoid seeing the trailer in advance. Suffice it to say the script is sharp and the performances spot on. If I could level one complaint, it would be that there aren’t quite enough genuine scares to justify labelling it an instant horror classic – Goddard just doesn’t have the expertise that Craven did in his prime – but there’s still enough tension to keep things interesting.
Just don’t expect a sequel.
[xrr rating =4/5]
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Friday Favourites: 10 sequels we should all pretend don’t exist
A few weeks back I suggested ten films that deserved a sequel but sadly never received one. The flip side of this would be a list of sequels that were made, but shouldn’t have been. This is a much harder task, given the sheer volume of sequels that disappointed or just didn’t measure up to the original; but here for your reading pleasure are a few of my choices of follow-ups that not only disappointed but utterly stained the film from whence they sprung.

1. Batman & Robin (1997)
Easy one, this. A genuine contender for Worst Sequel of All Time: a pun-drenched, painfully poor script from Akiva Goldsman; headache-inducing camerawork; the camp, dayglo production design; and a cast that couldn’t be more ill-suited to their characters. Result: franchise crash and burn (until Christopher Nolan’s 2005 reboot, anyway).
2. Aliens vs Predator: Requiem (2007)
Regular readers will know of my love of the Alien franchise, so this really was a heartbreaking moment for me. Regardless of whether you count it as a sequel to the original tetralogy or its immediate predecessor, AvP, this is a follow-up so genuinely unpleasant (tedious characters, tedious plot, nasty action) it just shouldn’t be watched. Even the studio realised this, hence the film’s cinematography being so dark it’s practically unwatchable anyway.
3. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)
How the mighty have fallen. That Richard Donner’s original comic-book masterpiece should have given birth to this load of cheap old tat is unthinkable. Christopher Reeve is reliably excellent as usual, but he’s the sole reason for watching this poor excuse for milking a cash cow dry. Two words – Nuclear Man. I mean, what? Incidentally, what is it about part fours that consistently make them so much worse than any other sequels?
4. Jaws: The Revenge (1987)Speaking of which, here comes another part four from 1987 that shits all over its classic 1970s forefather. Witness the inept direction and nonsensical plot: the way it tries to replay key moments from Spielberg’s film but completely fails to make them work. This is the film about which Michael Caine famously commented he hadn’t seen, but he had seen the house that it built – surely the only positive thing to emerge from this travesty.
5. Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)
I don’t even remember what Exorcist II was about. All I can remember was a) it was a bizarre mess; b) there were quite a lot of locusts; and c) Richard Burton popped up. Probably best just to leave it there, to be honest.
6. Omen IV: The Awakening (1991)
Oh hello, another eye-gougingly awful part four. Seriously, if you’re a filmmaker asked to take on a third sequel to a great original – just leave well alone. This film was in fact a TV movie, an attempt to resurrect the Damien franchise that should have been left dead and buried after part three. Miraculously, it reached some cinemas in Europe. I pity the fools that paid money to watch its miserable attempts to stir up terror.
7. The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior (2008)
In which a warrior rises, apparently. Yes, I did watch this. No, I shouldn’t have. I quite enjoyed the first film – a bright and breezy sword-and-sandals actioner which tipped its hat to the slightly camp fantasy adventures of the 80s typified by Conan the Barbarian/Destroyer and the like. This direct-to-dvd follow-up looks like an episode of Xena: Warrior Princess, but on a lower budget. It does however win points for its hysterically funny giant invisible scorpion at the end, which looks like it might have been created on an Amiga 500. But what’s with all the pointless Greek mythology references?
8. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007)If I’ve learnt one thing from this article, it’s to fear sequels that are released in a year ending in 7. They are certain doom. Still, at least it wasn’t a part four (On Stranger Tides – which, in point of fact, was slightly better than part three). At World’s End was a near three-hour long barrage of noise, gloom, CGI action and general melancholic tedium. Despite the high volume levels, it’s the closest I’ve ever come to nodding off at the cinema (not counting the Alien Trilogy all-nighter, which saw me briefly flag at around 6am in the middle of Alien 3).
9. Ocean’s Twelve (2004)
Steven Soderbergh’s sequel to his highly enjoyable 2001 caper remake is a textbook lesson in How To Destroy Everything People Liked About The First Film. Here, the plot isn’t clever, it’s stupid; worse, it cheats by going back on itself and changing the rules. The plot point about Julia Roberts’ character looking quite like Julia Roberts is also gobsmackingly irritating, to the extent that you want to punch the film repeatedly in the face. ARRRRGH! *punches film in face*
10. Psycho IV: The Beginning (1990)
Let’s finish with another part four, shall we? Going down the prequel route, this unwanted drivel purports to show us how Norman Bates became the man we all loved to be scared of. In doing so, the film completely misses the point of Hitchcock’s classic original: that horror can be found lurking in the most ordinary and benign situations – even behind the eyes of a seemingly nice young man like Norman. Just awful.
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Review: Battleship (2012)
Some films are so astoundingly silly that, against your better judgement, you can’t help but have fun. Such is the case with Battleship, the latest movie to be based on a Hasbro franchise (there are no toys or games any more, just brands and franchises). Given the enormous financial success of the Transformers franchise, it’s only slightly surprising that a two-hour plus movie based on a simple, wet-summer-holidays strategy game has emerged as a special effects-crammed, self-appointed blockbuster.In tone and look, Battleship does feel like a spin-off from one of Michael Bay’s ultra-loud slices of robotic mayhem; it’s certainly in love with the military hardware and mass destruction on display, and is unabashedly patriotic. This is a film that would blow the word ‘subtle’ out of the water if it dared to sail within firing range. Explosions pile on top of more explosions as an outnumbered and outgunned American naval crew try to outwit a technologically superior alien invasion force who have decided to invade our planet (best not to ask why they have chosen to do so, or how the crew find out why). Naturally they pick Hawaii as a starting point. Well, wouldn’t you?
On the surface it’s a simple jingoistic exercise in machismo and CGI: clean shaven Americans blow up evil aliens, the end. All well and good of course (assuming it’s done well), though the suggestion that those wacky scientists are to blame for bringing this threat to us by attempting to send a signal to a nearby exo-planet grates somewhat. Never mind the highly questionable science – what annoys is the oh-so-tired suggestion that science will bring about Earth’s doom, and the military will naturally have to step in to save the world. Er, is it the 1950s again?
Even more laughable than the back-of-a-fag-packet plot is its barking mad cast. Taylor Kitsch and Rihanna decked out in military uniforms couldn’t look more out of place if they were running for parliament. Kitsch once again looks all at sea (I-thank-you) in a big budget sci-fi spectacle, after last month’s otherwise OK John Carter. His singular lack of charisma and expression recalls that other one-dimensional Hollywood star, Paul Walker; line them up side by side and you could start building a fence. Rihanna’s anaemic performance suggests she should probably stick to the singing. Brooklyn Decker as Kitsch’s girlfriend was clearly only cast for two reasons, though to be fair they both offer strong competition to the beautiful mountainous scenery she finds herself stranded in. Thank God then for Liam Neeson, who injects some much-needed presence to his role as Admiral Shane, though the plot relegates him to the sidelines in little more than a cameo (or maybe that’s what attracted him to the largely Hawaiian-set production – who knows?). Occasionally he looks as if he can’t quite believe he actually signed up for this nonsense. Audiences will probably be thinking the same.
Almost single-handedly stopping the whole thing from sinking under the weight of its own preposterousness is director Peter Berg’s occasional hints of tongue-in-cheek. I particularly enjoyed the bit where Kitsch and his Japanese buddy ran up the deck of a sinking ship just to jump off the stern, rather than leap off the side like everyone else. Clearly that route just wasn’t quite spectacular enough. It’s moments like these when the ridiculousness of it all shines through that you can’t help but smile, and I have to admit I smiled quite a few times. The mid-film sequence where the crew play Battleship for real with the aliens (after radar has been rendered useless) is also quite amusing, though you do end up wishing you could just go home and play the game instead. But I guess that was Hasbro’s mission all along; there’s certainly no doubt which of the two will have a longer shelf life.
[xrr rating=2/5]
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Review: Le Havre (2011)
Le Havre is one of those quintessentially continental slices of whimsy that drops in to your local arthouse cinema every couple of months or so. Imagine if Nick Park decided to switch from stop-motion to live-action films, and remade Casablanca in a rundown port city in the present day. All that’s missing is a talking penguin.
André Wilms stars as elderly shoe shiner Marcel Marx, who takes young illegal immigrant Idrissa (Blondin Miguel) in to his home after the boy evades capture by the port authorities. How Marcel goes about trying to reunite him with his mother in London is a strangely sweet story, neither sentimental nor political. The townsfolk who assist Marcel – a baker, a greengrocer, even a washed-up rock star – are as uncomplicated as Marcel himself. Only Jean-Pierre Darroussin as the inspector on the child’s trail has anything like a character arc. This is not a film that deals in shades of grey – what you see is what you get. And in its old-fashioned way, it’s rather charming.
Director Aki Kaurismäki (whose other films I have yet to see) has a clear talent for deadpan humour, and isn’t afraid to let scenes run to within touching distance of the absurd; witness the inspector buying a pineapple, or rock star Little Bob’s fundraising gig. He also captures the rundown feel of the port town very well, the camera finding beauty in several unlikely places. It won’t be for everyone, but Le Havre is definitely worth your time.
[xrr rating=4/5]
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Digital Fix review – Wrath of the Titans
My review of Wrath of the Titans – it’s better than the first one:
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Digital Fix review – The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!
Here’s my review of Aardman’s latest slice of claymation fun over at The Digital Fix:
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! @ The Digital Fix
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Review: The Hunger Games (2012)
The Hunger Games is being trumpeted in some quarters as the new Twilight – an adaptation of a series of young adult fantasy novels which has acquired a rabid teenage fanbase. But while Twilight is firmly placed within the horror genre (though with obvious romantic inclinations), The Hunger Games deals with a dystopian sci-fi future where the United States has collapsed and subsequently re-formed as Panem under a feudal dictatorship. Each of Panem’s twelve districts are required to send two teenage “volunteers” to the Capitol every year to fight to the death until there is just one left standing – a reminder to the districts of who’s in charge, as well as suitably dramatic entertainment for the aristocratic ruling elite.Sound familiar? Of course it does. But originality is the least of The Hunger Games‘ problems. Indeed, some of the best science-fiction films have been those that recycled ideas and plots from earlier stories. The problem comes when it fails to do anything of interest with them.
I would agree that the set up is ripe with potential. Series author Suzanne Collins has recycled ideas most obviously from Lord of the Flies and Rollerball, but you could also point to the likes of The Running Man and Battle Royale. Her stroke of marketing genius was to graft a teenage love triangle on to the side of her sci-fi mash-up and aim it at the young adult market, which the Twilight series ignited a few years earlier. Hey presto – instant cash machine. Ok, maybe it wasn’t that easy, but given the lack of inspiration onscreen I’m struggling to think of anything else that could account for the astounding success of both book and film.
Director Gary Ross spends a long time – basically the first hour – setting the story up, and boy does it FEEL like a long time. If this were an intricately detailed universe, I could understand spending the entire first half of the film on getting the two main characters – Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen and Josh Hutcherson’s Peeta Mellark – from their homes to the Capitol and kitting them out with natty new clothes (literally – this was all that happened). But this is a world that we’ve seen hundreds of times before: a future where the poor live in semi-medieval squalor and the rich live in swanky hi-tech apartment blocks and watch endless TV. The only difference here is that the rich dress like they are auditioning for an episode of Star Trek set in revolutionary France.
As if trying to compensate for this extended lack of action, Ross shoots the film in shaky-cam style dialled up to 11. I’ve never really had a problem with this hand-held style in the past; the last two Bourne entries didn’t irritate me in the way it did many others. But well done to Ross: he’s succeeded in putting the shooting style in the way of the story. It called attention to itself so much in the early stages it started to verge on parody.
When we finally get to the Hunger Games themselves, it inevitably disappoints. The action is competently done, despite being limited to a 12A classification. There’s very little blood on display after the distributor asked to be passed at that rating. The tame violence is not necessarily a problem; what is a problem is the near-total absence of suspense and excitement. The film threatens to get pulses moving in a couple of places, when Katniss and Peeta are running around the enclosure avoiding the other contestants and occasionally firing arrows. But just when you think something really interesting might be about to happen… it doesn’t. It lacks a single memorable set-piece, content instead to serve up scene after scene of running and hiding, and then some more running and hiding. And then some more again.
The actors do their best: Jennifer Lawrence at least confirms her rising star status, perfectly cast as the gutsy Katniss. Hutcherson, a bit stiff in Journey 2: The Mysterious Island a couple of months back, is also a bit stiff here as the seemingly dim baker’s boy Peeta, who mostly just waits around to be saved by Katniss and occasionally camouflages himself in icing. Donald Sutherland turns up for a few lines and takes the money. Best of all is Woody Harrelson as a former Games champion, looking both surly and silly in an unbecoming and extremely ill-advised wig.
And what of the film’s alleged satire of current television trends (so-called reality shows with contestants being voted off by a bloodthirsty public)? A character suggests at one point that if everyone stopped watching the Games, then the government would have no choice but to throw in the towel and cancel the whole thing. Quite possibly true, but that’s as sharp as the satire gets. It’s difficult to imagine legions of teenage Americans switching off America’s Got Talent as the result of having seen this film. Stanley Tucci as greasy chat show host Caesar Flickerman (yes, that really is his name) comes off as just another greasy chat show host, but in a blue wig. I assume he was supposed to be funny or critical, or possibly both, but in the event he is neither. In all honesty, The Running Man was far more savage and certainly more amusing (if not always intentionally).
By the end I had had quite enough of the film’s tepid action, tepid romance and tepid satire. It will satiate fans of the books, I’m sure – the overly long running time surely proof of its fidelity to the novel. But unless you’re a massive fan of wigs (in which case you really need to see this film), The Hunger Games amounts to little more than reheated leftovers from older, better sci-fi stories.
[xrr rating=2/5]